unfortunately i do believe posthaste is one of the funniest words out there. how quick am i doing something? fast as fuck my good sir
Dogs have had many jobs throughout history, in this case: Revenge.
March 24, 2023, at 2:07 p.m. PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — Walter C. Cole, better known as the iconic drag queen who performed for decades as Darcelle XV, has died of natural causes in Portland, Oregon.
Accurate
Inaccurate when I say I’m not very political it’s because I’m not. I’m a libertarian that leans conservative but politics bore me.
The next post on this dudes blog is about how women are naturally inferior
“i’m a libertarian” right so you just a conservative that likes weed and sometimes decides not to vote
As a nurse, I encourage you to read and repost, and quote at length.
Image ID for reading software:
How can a disease with 1% mortality rate shut down the United States?
Franklin Veaux - updated 6 hours ago, professional writer
There are two problems with this question.
1. It neglects the law of large numbers; and
2. It assumes that one of two things happen: you die or are 100% fine.
The US has a population of 328,200,000. If one percent of the population dies, that’s 3,282,000 people dead.
Three million people dead would monkey wrench the economy no matter what. That more than doubles the number of annual deaths all at once.
The second bit is people keep talking about deaths. Deaths, deaths, deaths. Only one percent die! Just one percent! One is a small number! No big deal, right?
What about the people who survive?
For every one person who dies:
- 19 more require hospitalization.
- 18 of those will have permanent heart damage for the rest of their lives.
- 10 will have permanent lung damage.
- 3 will have strokes.
- 2 will have neurological damage that leads to chronic weakness and loss of coordination.
- 2 will have neurological damage that leads to loss of cognitive function.
So now all of a sudden, that “but it’s only 1% fatal!” becomes:
- 3,282,000 people dead.
- 62,385,000 hospitalized.
- 59,076,000 people with permanent heart damage.
- 32,820,000 people with permanent lung damage.
- 9,846,000 people with strokes.
- 6,564,000 people with muscle weakness.
- 6,564,000 people with loss of cognitive function.
That’s the thing that folks who keep going on about “only 1% dead, what’s the big deal?” don’t get.
The choice is not “ruin the economy to save 1%.” If we reopen the economy, it will be destroyed anyway. The US economy cannot survive everyone getting COVID-19.
THIS THIS THIS
If you don’t want to add the numbers, by the way, that’s 55% of infected people who are dead, hospitalized, and/or develop long-term disabilities as a result.
apparently people are annoyed because the thor in the new god of war looks like a strongman instead of a bodybuilder lmao
and they made his hair red (which is historically accurate to the myth)? Wig
What an absolute lad.
The funny/sad thing is that apparently way back in the day when Thor, Loki and Odin appeared in Sandman, Neil Gaiman said that there were irate Marvel fans that were mad that Thor was depicted as a kinda loutish guy with red hair rather than the image of Avenger!Thor (blond, winged helmet, formal Shakespearean dialogue) they were used to.
One driver already quit and NASCAR responded with basically “we had to google you because nobody knew who the fuck you were”
Nascar started because they said fuck cops and its nice to see they havent lost their roots completely.
That is the sexiest thing a corporation ever said.
You know what? Since heterosexual people are called straight, I’m starting a petition for homosexuals to be called curved. All bi folks can be flamberge.
Straight.
Curved.
Flamberge.
I admit I’m not familiar with all the orientations, but feel free to educate me and I’ll try to find something that fits. Be a weapon. Fuck the system.
Pansexual people don’t discriminate, as far as I know. So basically they’re all over the place. The first thing that popped into my mind was the urumi, which is a cool ass fucking sword whip and I love it to little pieces.
I didn’t even have to think about asexuals. I’ve been using swords for sexual folks, and asexuals aren’t always into that. They can be, but aren’t always. So, I picked something that hacks and cuts and slices but ain’t a sword. Ace people, you are now axes.
Demiromantic people only fall for people whom they know intimately (I mean really well, you degenerates). So, I picked this thing because it takes a fuckton of practice to get good. Demis, take a bow.
Transgender means you are born one thing but identify as another. Well. Sounds like a confusing time, tbh. That reminds me of the pata, which is a gauntlet and sword all rolled into one.
Cisgender means that you’re born one thing and stick to it. This is a bamboo stick. You cut a piece of bamboo and then hit things with it. You get what you see, really. We even have a sport/martial art based on the activity.
Okay so genderfluid means your gender ain’t fixed and can be anything at any time. That… sounds even more all over the place than pansexuality but hey who cares. You people get the lantern shield (why the Italians made this idk), as it is JUST as all-over-the-place.
Intergender means someone whose gender lies between male and female. You get the sidesword, which was a transitional weapon between the regular arming sword and the rapier. Note the development of a complex hilt, which gets cranked up to eleven in rapiers.
Androgyny refers to peeps who are simultaneously masculine and feminine, as far as I can tell. Folks, this is a matchlock rifle combined with an axe. Because it’s badass. So are you.
This thing has 100 notes. Why does it have 100 notes. This has no business getting 100 notes.
Dude, I made this silly little thing to help me remember all the different kindsa stuff. I keep forgetting them but the swords help.
Well, I hope this helps y’all choose your D&D weapon, if nothing else.
I’m writing this as there are 743 notes. You guys seem to really like this for some reason. I should tell you that I have little to no knowledge about all the different sexual orientations and gender identities there are. So if you identify with something and it’s not here, you know why. I do know weapons, though, so I’ll try my best to accommodate as many as I can.
That being said, let’s do this.
Polysexual refers to people who are attracted to more than one gender. Unlike pansexuals, they don’t like everything. So, something that does many things but not everything and no at all-over-the-place. This is a kukri, a multi-purpose survival tool used by the Gurkhas. They’re used in war, hunting, chopping wood, and come with little tools to sharpen your blade, start fires etc.
Genderflux is a gender identity in which the gender intensity varies over time. So sometimes you’re all ‘HELL YEAH’ about it and sometimes you’re ‘meh‘. Katanas are like that. They’re hyped up to the moon but really, they’re not all that special. It’s a sword that does what it’s designed to do, and does it well, but it doesn’t cut through tanks and boulders. Which broke my heart, tbvh.
Greyromantics are those who can experience romantic attraction, but do so infrequently. This is a chakram, a flying frisbee of death. The outer edge is sharp and will slice well into exposed skin. You won’t land a hit all the time, so the Sikh warriors carried multiple on them. But if they land, hoo boy.
Also, a bonus.
^ Just know that I cackled. Satan is happy.
So, seeing as how this thing just blew the fuck up, I feel the need to clarify something.
Flamberge refers to the shape of the blade. It is not the name of the sword.
Flamberge means flame-shaped sword. It’s weird and cool-looking and exists because some smith probably went “Because I CAN” one day. These things existed over a wide geographical area. From Germany’s flammenschwert zweihander:
To rapiers
The Persian shamshir
The Indian talwar
And, as pictured above, the Indonesian kris
So, all you raging bi people, you’re practically firebenders. Form a fire nation and change everything.
2403 notes guys you need to Stop This
That being said, another update.
For everyone who has yet to come out, you get the cane sword. Walk around with it and nobody will know. Unless you stab them.
And for those who don’t yet know what they are, I’m calling you all Rogues. So stealthy that not even you know what’s going on. As such, you get the bagh nakh, meaning tiger claw (tiger nail is the literal translation). You slip it on, putting the hoops through your index and pinkie, and voila, you can stealth slice stuff off people. Hidden blade whom’st?
Well. 6,500 notes. I didn’t know so many people liked swords and shit. Seriously, I’m glad you guys liked it so much, but this is the last update. I hope you enjoy it.
Maverique refers to a non-binary gender that exists outside of the orthodox social bounds of gender. This is a man-catcher, and it basically does what it says on the tin. It is a polearm, and was in use till as late as the 1700s. you stuck them around the waist or neck of people and caught them. It’s like Pokemon Go but for soldiers and city guards. From transporting prisoners to catching and pushing off people trying to climb the walls of a castle, this was a very… unorthodox but versatile weapon.
Novigender refers to a gender that is super complex and impossible to describe in a single term. This is a balestrino. Also called an assassin’s crossbow. Nobody fucking knows whether these were toys or actual weapons. Knowing the Italians, it was probably both. It’s about the size of a very large cucumber, if that. Certainly fits the bill.
Autosexual refers to people who aren’t usually sexually attracted to others and prefer touching themselves instead. Well, this one was hard, I won’t lie. Something that can be used by itself without an aid… there are many things like that, but then I remembered the gada. It’s a kind of mace, very Indian, and you swing it around and hit shit with it. Sometimes they have nails or spikes at the end. Usually quite heavy, these ones seem to be in the 40 kilogram range.
So there you go. Joe bless you all.
If I got 1 USD for every note on this dumb post, it’d equal 133 years of my monthly salary.
Guys, let this post go. It’s been months and I wake up to a random 500 notes.
Or at least reblog the full version. Sigh.
20,129 notes.
You crazy bastards. You absolutely mental fartblossoms. Twenty thousand, one hundred and twenty nine. Fuck me, I don’t even have as many strands of hair on my head! You utter assholes, d’you know what happens when you take this kinda shit and run with it? Do you? Huh? Do you know what happens when you create demand this lustily?
SUPPLY FOLLOWS, YOU SORRY LOT OF OOMPA LOOMPAS.
SO SADDLE UP, AMIGOS, WE’RE GOIN’ FOR THIS RIDE AGAIN! AND FIRST ON THE LIST ARE AROMANTICS!
It’s the most often asked question in the notes (yeah, I read them all, you degenerates), and now I shall answer it. Aro people, embrace the most OP weapon of all time: the spear.
The spear has always gotten the shaft (hehe) and has been in the shadow of the sword. Why? Well, compare the number of magic swords you’ve heard about against the number of magic spears. Try to imagine a knight saving a princess or slaying a dragon… with a spear. Exactly. It’s easier to romanticise the sword. And since the spear isn’t looked at in a romantic light, it’s perfect for aromantic folk. Don’t worry, the reach advantage ensures that you’ll pwn sword-wielders most of the time. Poke away!
@petermorwood asked me what these things might represent. For those who don’t know, this a triple-bladed katar. I’d say this represents multigender people rather nicely. Multigender folk have more than one gender identity (bi, tri, quad, quint, poly, pan). Why bother having one when you can catch ‘em all?
Agender is basically not identifying as any gender, period. While all the entries so far have been cutty, stabby, hacky and smashy types, this particular weapon ain’t about that life. Shields are boss (hehe) because while they don’t do any of that, they can still fuck you up. Perfect to have for a neutral party. Or even home defence.
That’s it from me, Tumblr. I’m glad you’ve kept this dumbass thing alive for as long as you have, and I’m very, very grateful. Please don’t take this to 30k. Ok?
Aight. A brief addition for pride month.
So. Aporagender. The most succinct definition I could find said that it was for people neither male, female, or non-binary, while still feeling connected to a sense of gender. That took a while to wrap my head around. But hey, you don’t gotta be a sword to cut, and neither do you gotta be metal. I present to you the macuahuitl - an Aztec weapon made by slapping sharpened obsidian along the edges of the wood. Is it a club? Is it a blade? Is it a demented cricket bat? Yes. And so are you.
Angenital folks don’t really want anything between their legs. It can make them uncomfortable, and I totally get that. Yet, though they want their sex organs to go away, they don’t necessarily want to be genderless, and decide to keep the pronouns and gender identities around.
This is a sword breaker, a sort of parrying dagger used to catch the opponent’s blade between the teeth. Still a dagger, but no edge. Totally badass.
Keep the fight alive, my apods.
All right. Which of you assholes decided it was a good idea to take this post for a spin? Waking up to 99+ notifications sliding in at the same time is no joke. You think my Tired Grandpa persona is a fake? You think I like being woken up at 6:30 in the morning by the gonging of a goddamn church bell every morning? It does nothing to make me personable, I tell you what.
I had moved on. Forgotten about this. Moved to a whole ass different country, and yet here we are again. What are we to do?
Send in more requests, I guess. Since we’re going for this ride again, I’ll need more to chew over. Just. Please. It’s at 22k notes. Dangerously close to 30k. Don’t do that. Don’t take it there. Please. I’m old. I can’t handle it.
I admit a full finished post with like every possible weapon/shield etc is something i’d pay for lmfao. i’d totally pay for updates until it was done. This is EXCLUSIVE to this post tho
ok so people are making fun of this but adding this with other anti-global warming tactics will work
This isn’t adding ice just for the sake of denial, it’s adding to the Earth’s albedo. This in turn actually makes the Earth’s climate cooler, and then more ice will be produced naturally because of this.
It isn’t a process we need to continue forever, in fact it’s one that needs to be calculated so that we don’t do it TOO MUCH. The only worry would be cooling down too much.
So yes, this is a good idea. It simply isn’t the only thing we should do because we still have gross pollution.
For the love of god do it . anything just do it. Give us hope.
Here’s the thing: Most environmental catastrophes humans have ever or are currently creating can be fixed. It’s not just a matter of “oh no, things are ruined, and maybe we can stop the degradation so that things don’t get any worse, but we’re stuck with how things are.” There are some things we can’t do, like bringing back extinct species. But there are a lot of other things we can definitely do, many of which are being done right now. The problem is that most of our willpower and effort is spent on bullshit tiny things that won’t solve the problem (individual recycling, etc.) and not on the large-scale things that can and will make a large-scale difference.
Ice caps are melting? Guess what! We know how to make ice. It’s not that hard. Designing mostly-automated robot ships to go to the poles and rebuild the ice caps is well within our current technical capabilities. We just need to fund it.
Deforestation on a massive scale? Destruction of other biomes? Guess what! We know how to plant trees. We know how to plant grasslands. We know how to take barren, lifeless land and turn it back into a viable biome. It’s not that hard. In a lot of cases, if there’s neighboring areas where that biome still exists, all you have to do is dump a few tons of biomass (plant clippings, food waste, etc.) on the barren land and stand back and wait. The biomass will provide nutrients and keep the topsoil from blowing away, and the plants and animals from the neighboring biome will move in. In two decades, even if you don’t do anything besides dumping the biomass on it, you won’t be able to tell what was the barren area and what was the still-existing biome.
Coral reefs dying? Now, coral reefs are a bit more fragile than most biomes, but guess what! We still know how to replant/rebuild them, and in fact are working on that in places affected by coral reef die-off! And we’re learning how to do it better every day.
Desertification? Guess what! We know how to turn desert back into green space. They’re doing it on a large scale in China and sub-Saharan Africa. There are several different techniques, none of which are even very technology-intensive. It takes money and time and labor, but it’s perfectly doable. We know this because we’ve done it.
Plastic in the ecosystem, particularly in the ocean? Guess what! There’s a lot of people working on this, both on “how to remove plastic from the ocean” and “how to reuse/recycle it more efficiently.” And the techniques are improving by leaps and bounds every year. This is a solvable problem. These are all solvable problems.
So if you’re crushed by the weight of the coming environmental catastrophe … don’t be. These are all solvable problems! We can stop things from getting worse, and we can fix the things we’ve broken. The issue is political, not practical.
On the political side, of course, is the need to tighten up environmental regulations across the globe. (What’s the statistic, that 90% of pollution is caused by 100 corporations?) And then of course, we need to fund these programs on a large enough scale.
In some ways the political aspect is the hardest, but consider this: we are at a tipping point. Things are changing about the way politicians talk about climate change and ecological degradation. More ordinary people are concerned about this, which means more pressure on politicians. One of the ways that things are changing is that people–even conservatives–are starting to talk about “job opportunities in new green fields” and switching the conversation so that it’s not “rainforest vs. jobs” makes political action a lot more possible. And no, it’s not going to happen on its own, but it can happen.
This is a solvable problem.
I *needed* this. Climate change has had me feeling SO helpless, having a list of things that can actually potentially be done is beautiful
That's a false comparison.
You can disagree about whether there's a God, or about which God there is.
Black people and LGBT people exist. You can't disagree about that.
There are no gods in your class but there are probably black and gay kids. And it would probably help them a lot to know that you support them.
Black people and gay people aren't religious groups.
Religion isn't allowed in schools because of antidisestablishmentarianism, aka the separation of church and state.
There is no separation between black people and the state, because they are people. Also that would be apartheid.
the-nasti-files
